Welcome to 2020! It still feels so strange saying that, doesn't it? It's always so weird thinking about a new year, let alone a new decade, and I'm hoping this decade will be a big one! Hopefully the 2020's are the years I graduate, buy a house and settle down in my life. However, there actually isn't much else I want to change about my life.

For the first time in a long time, I finally feel settled and comfortable within myself. I've spent most years of my teenage life comparing myself to others, not feeling good enough and really struggling to work out who I am. Going to university changed all of that for me.

In terms of relationships, I've made the best friends over the last couple of years, and rediscovered and renewed friendships from my sixth form; Daisy, Cam, Kieran, Zara, Jas and Jade, if any of you are reading this, you're all wonderful and keep me sane on a day to day basis. I've also become a lot closer to my brother Jamie in the past 6 months and I'm very lucky that we go to the same university and he's close by to keep me sane and remind me of home. I'm also incredibly grateful for my boyfriend Sam. I don't like to talk to much about our relationship on here, but he makes me feel incredibly grounded, steady and loved and supports me through everything (this is ending up being so puke worthy, I'm sorry, thanks if you're actually still reading). I'm finally at a stage in my life where I feel I have a number of people I can turn to when things inevitably go wrong instead of trying to tackle it all by myself.

In terms of my life generally, I finally feel like I'm headed in the right direction for a future career. I've never known what I wanted to do, took a broad range of A levels in the hope that that would help me instead of being too specific, which in reality came back to bite me in the bum when I had to study at university for an extra year to get my biology A level equivalent (which I won't even use now since I've changed course, but that's a whole other story). 2019 was the year I realised that I need to have a career that involves working with people to be fulfilled, and that lab work wasn't for me, and that unfortunately, having a chronic illness would probably prevent me from studying medicine at university. It's upsetting, but I've realised I have to ultimately put myself and my health first when thinking about a career. Changing to a Psychology degree has been one of the best decisions I've made, and I finally feel confident that I'm doing the right degree for me. My current goal is to eventually be Dr. Birks and be a relationship therapist, which involves a long slog and doing a Phd, but relationships are something I'm fascinated by and want to study for a long time, and it currently feels like the perfect fit.

Being vegan has also helped me massively through 2019, I've now been vegan for almost 10 months (with one blip involving a halloumi kebab), and it's something I really believe in and am passionate about. I never thought I'd be a "preachy vegan", but it's just become part of my personality and who I am as a person.

Overall, 2019 was a bit weird for me, but I've come out the other side being confident and comfortable in myself and who I am, which is why I haven't made any new year's resolutions this year, because I'm perfectly happy with life continuing the way it currently is!

Have you made new year's resolutions this year? Why/ why not?

All my love,

Em x

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